Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Mom's Bucket List

Dear Mom,

I really miss you lately, I started crying at work yesterday because I had a flashback of driving you to the hospital because you were having some speech problems one morning and you had a seizure in the passenger seat right next to me. I don't know if it is the holidays or what but you have been on my mind so much more lately and I am more emotional. Right now I'm wat
ching a show on NBC called "The Sing-off" and it is all groups singing acapella and it is making me teary because I know how much you would have loved watching this with me.

Guess what, mom? Today I got up at 4:30 in the morning (boy was I tired!!) and it was freezing cold (only 20 degrees when I got in my car) but I drove to th
e train station and parked my car and took a train into NYC to meet my friend, Sandi. I was wearing your coat and your very warm scarf so I was pretty safe from the cold. We took the subway to Rockefeller Center and had fun taking pictures and looking at the amazingly huge tree they have up there this year...I think this one is the biggest I have ever seen!! The tree came from Mahopac...not too far from where we used to live in Mt. Vernon, right? I think it is so festive and I really love watching the skaters on the rink because every time I do it reminds me of skating there in 2003 with my very dear friend, Mary...I scratched something off dad's bucket list that day didn't I, mom? :) I'll never forget that day as long as I live.

So I bet you're wondering what I was doing there, huh? Well you know NBC Studios are there and guess who tapes his TV show there, as luck would have it? You know I can still hear your voice..."He's my man!!!" whenever you would see him on Oprah. I never would have guessed what the segments on the show would be about today and I actually had tickets for last month but at the last minute they emailed to say that they wouldn't be taping that day (I guess a heart surgeon turned TV star still has patients to attend to) so I got tickets for a different day. The opening segment started and when Dr. Oz came out I thought about you and wished you could have been with me but when they started to talk about pancreatic cancer I shifted gears and got very emotional about dad...there was no way I could have known that the show would cover that horrible cancer on the day that I was in the audience!! It was so surreal for me, everything he talked about just made me nod in agreement and dad had a lot of the warning signs early on and I wish I had known more back then but I don't know if it would have changed the outcome. They are actually working on a vaccine to treat patients who have cancer of the pancreas now so it is really very promising and I hope that I see a cure for this cancer in my lifetime.

The rest of the show was about Weight Watchers (this show is going to air in January so it is fitting since so many people make New Year's resolutions to lose weight) and that was really interesting and fun to watch. I'm so glad I went and I really had a great time.

So for now there is only one more thing left on your list, mom...and I don't know if I'll be able to do it but I will try if the opportunity comes up. It's Tina Turner and I'm keeping my eyes and ears peeled...but you know she toured when you were battling your brain cancer so I wasn't able to take you to see her, you were just not well enough. I give you my word, if she tours again...I will be there and you will be with me...I will feel your spirit with me just like I felt you with me today.

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