Thursday, April 23, 2009

Glad to be home!

It's been a rough few days for me, not the greatest trip to Florida I've ever had that's for sure...thank God I had Robert with me for all the help and to chauffeur me around because I couldn't do much in the way of driving due to the fact that monday morning my blood pressure decided to go through the roof!

Here's the reader's digest version....well for the most part! I posted some of this on my private message board so it's easier to copy and paste.

It sure is good to be home and know that if I have any more health scares I am here and not away...I am grateful to Dr. P (mom's primary care physician, next door neighbor for a few years and friend ) for taking care of me and not charging me a dime even though I plan to send them my insurance information so that they can bill for it and get something. I had mom's BP cuff and decided to check my pressure for the hell of it (it's been fine and I check it at home about once a week) and it was in the 160/95 range so I had Robert check his because I thought maybe the cuff wasn't working right but his came up good so that got me worried. I got about 3 hours of sleep sunday night and the packers were there at 8am on monday morning and I checked my pressure every hour or so and tried to stay calm but by 1pm I was really worried because it was like 200/110 so I called Dr. P's office and they told me to come right in. I got dizzy there so originally she was just going to give me samples of BP meds and send me on my way but she had to check me in and document it when I got dizzy. She gave me meds and had me sit in the office for an hour to monitor me and it was coming down so she called in atenolol to Walmart (thank God for the $4 prescriptions since I didn't have my RX card on me) and told me to come back tuesday for a recheck. I did that and it was still pretty high so she told me to double up on the I'm taking 100mg daily and not happy about the past I only took 25mg...I am hoping once the stress of the move passes I will relax....I realized I need to take better care of myself or I won't be any good to anyone else! Right now my BP is on my wrist monitor is 131/86 but the arm cuff is reading 149/90...I am wondering if I'm have hypertension for a while now from all the stress of taking care of mom and the wrist cuff wasn't giving me true readings? Either way I am following up with my own doctor tomorrow at 4:15.

It was really hard to say goodbye to that house yesterday and walk away but it had to be done. And now I have a huge ass truck (that thing holds 4 houses worth of stuff on it!!) coming to my house on sunday to unload all of the furniture and over 60 boxes...don't ask me where it's all going...that's Jim's department...I've done my end of it and now I need to relax. I took a few pictures despite the fact that it was sad but I wanted to remember this time in my life because I learned a valuable lesson...all of these things that are in boxes right now...well it's just stuff and I don't want to have that happen to me when it's time to move from here. After a while you just don't need another vase or another picture frame and I have come to realize that we all need to downsize and stop being so attached to things that are just material. Having said that I'm happy that mom will have her pretty things here in my home that is now hers, as well.

I thought this was symbolic for me last night as I sat on the plane watching the sunset and I felt like it was that part of my life is setting, as well...all of the trips that Alex and I made to visit mom and my stepdad and then after he passed just my mom were some of the best times for us and I'm glad that we did it every year and that in 2007 God knew the future for us and we went down there 4 times that year...the 4th trip being Christmas 2007, just one month before we got mom's diagnosis. If you look at the picture of the truck on the street...where you see the red bush on the left side is the exact spot where this happened and that week we spent there was a blessing. When I made the decision to jump on a plane and surprise mom by showing up at her door unannounced I know in my heart that it was GOD putting that thought in my head and nudging me to go spend more time with mom and to have Alex experience those memories with his grandma. Yes, I'll miss that house and all of those wonderful times we had but I'm grateful that I have the 2 scrapbooks I made for mom documenting every single one of those trips going back to 2003. It makes you realize why scrapbooking and keeping those memories on paper is so important...the memories will someday fade but all you need to do is open a scrapbook and it all comes flooding back to you.

Goodbye Olde Bailey Lane...I will never forget the fun times we all had there, that's for sure!!


Nancy n Paul said...


Anonymous said...

take good care of you courageous girl
we love you
Jean & Madeleine

ScrapnKel said...

Tears are streaming...Oh Linda, I can so sympathize with you right now. I can't tell you how many times I've cleaned out my house after helping to clean out Grandma's and then going through all of Mom's things. I know exactly what you mean about the material items. It is amazing how much stuff we all end up with and then have to get rid of. I'm so glad you had those times with Mom too and that you took the pics and have the memories in a book. I can't tell you how much the memories help day to day. I'm constantly thinking of you. ((hugs))

June said...