Sunday, June 15, 2008
Father's Day...a sign from Heaven
Another Father's Day is upon us and my typical ritual is going to the cemetery to say a prayer and visit my father's grave and then heading up to the other cemetery to visit my stepdad's grave. My father in law's ashes were taken over to England by my husband after he died so I don't have a place to visit him but I do think of him on this day as well.
I've been blessed to have 3 strong men in my life that I called 'dad' and each of them influenced me in their own way and helped shape the person that I am. It was incredibly difficult to say goodbye to each of them but I was grateful for the time that I had because I know full well that some children grow up without a father in their life or perhaps don't have a good relationship with their dad.
Yesterday I spent some time visiting with Jason in the hospital knowing that my days with him are precious and few now because the doctor has told us that his test results show extensive damage to both of the hemispheres in his brain as well as the brain stem. The last few days have been very difficult and I've tried to make some sense of everything that is going on in my life and I was thinking about that as I walked back to my car in the hospital parking lot and just as I was putting my hand on the handle to open my car door I looked down and there was a golf ball at my feet! It was a sign from my dad that everything is going to be ok and that he is with me! I haven't had one of those 'signs' from him in several years and it was so comforting and really made me feel better.
For those of you that don't know my dad was an avid golfer and played every chance he got. A few years ago I was going through a rough time in my life and I was on the phone with mom and I looked out the front window of my house and there under the tree that my dad planted on my front lawn was a golf ball!! I went outside and picked it up and it made me smile. Yesterday I felt peace when I picked up that ball in the parking lot and I went to show it to Jack, my brother in law, and told him that I just got a sign from heaven and he agreed with me. Jason also loved to play golf and in fact his golf clubs were in his car the day of the accident so I think on some levels he had a hand in this 'sign' that I was given. I know that whatever happens over the next few days, weeks, months...I will get through it...I am not alone.
Today I am hoping to go out to dinner with my brother in law and his wife, I know this is going to be a difficult day for him and I am glad that I am home and able to focus on my husband's family at the moment. Nancy is with mom and she took her home from the hospital on friday so knowing that my sister is there gives me relief knowing she is well taken care of. I am going back to Florida at the end of the week for a few days to take over again.
Thank you for the continued prayers for my family, I do feel all of the love from everyone.