Every day we get is a gift from GOD

I have truly learned the truth in that statement in the past 10 days. I know a few people have emailed and wondered why I haven't blogged in a bit here and the reason is we have had another family tragedy to contend with and I'm still reeling from it.

On May 17th I woke up to a frantic phone call from my husband telling me that I needed to get to the hospital because they needed a family member there to authorize treatment on my nephew who was in a really horrible car accident. My hubby along with his brother and sister were out in New Mexico for a long weekend to lend support to their mom as she is dealing with her husband in the final stages of cancer. I rushed to the hospital to find my 29 year old nephew, a best buddy to my Alex, fighting for his life in the emergency room. I later found out that he was not breathing and had no heart beat when they brought him into the hospital but that they brought him back and he was hooked up to machines to keep him alive and breathing until family could arrive.

Fast forward 10 days and so much has happened including Robert flying home from Hawaii to see his cousin and be here for support while I had to fly down to Florida in the midst of all of this and care for my mom for a few days. Through the advice of a caring social worker on my mom's care team I was able to admit mom into a nursing/rehab facility so that I could come back home and attend to my husband's family. Mom was very understanding and told me to go home and she would be fine and I am grateful for that because it made it easier on me to leave her there and fly home on saturday night.

Tomorrow should be a big day because the neurosurgeon who did the surgery to relieve the pressure in Jason's brain will be returning and hopefully all of the test results will be back and we will have some answers as to what needs to be done. I am amazed at the way this family has pulled together and become stronger through all of this. In the face of possibly losing his only child my brother in law, Jack, has made the hardest decision any parent will ever have to make and that is to give the gift of life to others if his son is not meant to continue on in this life.

I ask for prayers of strength for our family as we go through the next few days. I have a 10 year old little boy who loves his cousin and misses him so much already and doesn't understand why he can't go see him in the hospital. These two are such good buddies even with the age difference between them Jason always treated Alex like a little brother, not a cousin. He was always there for him and took him fishing or crabbing with him every chance he got. I hope and pray for a good outcome to this and if it is not meant to be I pray for peace for our family as we work through this tragedy.

Music brings joy

So it just goes to show you that music reaches everyone no matter what your circumstances and sometimes it helps in ways you can't even imagine. Mom has to flex her feet as much as possible when she is sitting in order to keep the circulation flowing in her legs and help with the edema. Well here we are watching American Idol tonight and enjoying a performance by Maroon 5 and I glance over and see this going on in the recliner next to me!! Thanks M5 for a great performance and for getting mom so into it that her feet were dancing. Mom has always loved music and she and I share that love together and still do. I am truly cherishing these moments we are getting to spend together and we both can't wait to see Cher and Tina Turner on Oprah tomorrow--well I know mom sure is! I remember several years ago mom said to me, "Before I die I want to see Rod Stewart and Tina Turner in concert". Well that was a long time ago and a lot has happened since then but I am proud to say that back in August of 2003 I managed to get mom to a Rod Stewart concert and in the 5th row and boy was that fun...I don't think I'll ever forget that night. While I haven't been able to make her dream to see Tina Turner in concert come true I know that tomorrow she will watch Oprah and I'll be sitting there smiling as she enjoys the music.

Make the most of every day that the Lord gives you, no matter what your life has in store. Live each day like it could be your last and make lasting memories NOW while you have the opportunity. Enjoy every day to the fullest...listen to music, it does bring joy!

My name is Linda and I am...

...a caregiver.

I am in Florida right now doing my very best to take care of my mom, my best friend in the whole world who is battling brain cancer. I am amazed and so proud of her strength and her spirit and will to live.

I read some very uplifting words recently.

We all have lessons to learn throughout our lifetimes. Life evolves and sometimes our journey takes us through turbulent waters and other times the waters remain still. These journeys become a part of us and make us who we are. We are here to learn from one another and through these lessons we can heal our relationships and sometimes ourselves.

Becoming a family caregiver for someone you love is one of those heart wrenching and at times enlightening life lessons. Your role as a family caregiver can happen abruptly or creep in slowly-unnoticed until one day you realize you are caring more for someone else than you are for yourself.

You find yourself beginning to struggle with the day to day demands and somewhere along the way you realize you have lost your identity and have allowed the caregiving role to define who you are. Your new role as a family caregiver can become as frightening as the initial diagnosis. The journey can be a difficult when traveled alone; however, it does not have to be that hard and you do not and should not have to travel the road alone.

I am so blessed that I do not have to bear this burden alone and that I have the support of a wonderful husband and 3 amazing sons who have all gone above and beyond all of my expectations when faced with the challenges put before us lately. I am also blessed with friendships that I know will last for many years to come and with unexpected help from neighbors who have reached out to us when our lives are turned upside down.

I am blessed because I have...

Jim who is willing to give up his music studio in order to convert it to a bedroom if we bring mom to live with us. I know he will work tireless hours to also make the bathroom on the first floor of our house safe and accessible to mom.

Jesse who is there for his little brother this week while I am away from home. It is making this easier on me knowing that he is there to get his brother off to school in the morning and also after school when he doesn't have to be in class himself.

Robert who calls me to check on grandma as often as he can. I am thankful that he is no longer in harms way and finished up with his tours of duty over in Iraq. I know he is looking forward to coming home at the end of the year and being with his family again...Hawaii is such a far away place to be stationed.

Alex who is being such a brave and strong little boy while I am not home and have to be here in Florida to take care of his grandma. I remember the day before I left he was sad that he couldn't come with me and asked me to take a picture or video of grandma every day because he misses her so much.

Friends who know just what I need and when like a dear friend who just decided that I needed to see a concert at Jones Beach this summer and bought us tickets even though I may not even be home. Another who always knows just what to say because she has walked this path with her own mother and knows just what I am feeling.

Yes, I am blessed and even though things seem pretty hard right now I know in my heart that my Lord will not give me more than I can handle TODAY.

Scrapbooking again...

...and boy does it feel good! On saturday I went to a crop and I was able to complete 15 layouts so I was really happy about that considering I got there at about 11am and left about 8pm...plus I took a break for lunch and again for dinner. Here are just a few of the pages I completed. I'm getting close to being done with Robert's deployment stuff and when he was home he was looking through some of the pages and I hope he liked them and will be able to share them with his children and grandchildren someday.

Spamalot

Wow, I haven't blogged in like 12 days!! Needless to say I was super busy while I was down in Florida taking care of mom. She is making progress in her rehabilitation and I am so proud of her for being determined and working hard. I came home on wednesday night and it was really hard to leave her but I had to get back to my life here and take care of things for myself before I head back down when they send her home, not to mention I had to get Alex back here so he can go back to school on monday.

I had a really wonderful time at Spamalot, the show is so funny and it did me a world of good to laugh out loud. My friend Sue and I had 3rd row seats and while I knew that they picked someone from the audience every night and brought them up on stage as part of the show I never in a million years imagined that it would be MY SEAT!!
I thought it was so funny the way they do it and then I turned to my right and Clay is reaching out to shake my hand, I had totally forgot that he was there...hahahaha. My friend told me that he doesn't always shake the hand of the person they bring on stage, sometimes he pulls his hand away at the last second as part of the show...but he shook mine and then they take your picture with a polaroid and give it to you along with an award...too cool...I have a great memory of the day to scrapbook now!! Can't wait to work on that page but I have to wait for my friend Sue to get me a copy of the picture we had someone take of the 2 of us outside the theatre afterwards. It cracked me up that everyone was congratulating me on the way out of the theatre saying how great I did, that I was funny and one person wanted my autograph. What a crack up!!

It's going to be a busy week ahead with doctor's appointments for me and Alex and I have 2 meetings at Alex's current school and the middle school that he'll be moving up to in the fall.

What have I done for myself lately?

Sometimes we get so busy with our lives and taking care of our families and obligations that we forget about the most important person that we need to do for and by that I mean ourselves. I've often been told that if you don't take care of yourself you'll be no good to anyone so always do something for you and the rest will fall into place.

So what is on tap for Linda?


Well it's no secret that I love music, especially live stuff and I had the opportunity on thursday night to see a great musician for the second time, Richard Marx.

Since I've had a few people ask me who RM is I figure I would refresh your memory...he's put out hits such as:

• Don't mean nothing
• Endless Summer Nights
• Now and Forever
• Should've known better
• Hold on to the nights
• Right here waiting

Aside from his own hits he has written for a slew of other artists.


As always it was a great show filled with some new music and old 80's tunes that he's most known for. We also had a rare treat in that Billy Squier showed up and played 2 songs with Richard including one of his hits, Everybody wants you.




Tomorrow.....

Let's see....oh yeah, I'm going to see Spamalot on Broadway with my friend Sue and hopefully it will be a nice day and we can walk to the theatre and I don't have to use the subway. Oh yeah, Clay Aiken is in the play right now...bonus!


I got up this morning and enjoyed a quiet cup of coffee and then took myself out for a haircut and a pedicure and I really enjoyed all of the pampering, especially the massage chair in the nail salon.

Reading....

I'm in the middle of reading 3 different books right now. Yikes, I don't know what I've gotten myself into but I know that when I read it enriches my life (well ok...maybe not the fiction stuff) because ultimately I learn something about myself with every book that I finish. I'm currently reading Randy Pausch's book, "The Last Lecture" and I continue to follow his journey on his website as I have ever since I learned of his fight with pancreatic cancer, having lost my dad to this disease.


Working at a library is great because I always know what great new books are coming out and I just was at work yesterday and putting books away and this one caught my eye so I put it on the side and took it home to read, I think it will be a quick read and possibly I'll get through it on the flight to mom's on monday morning.

Oh and I'm also reading A New Earth, the Oprah book club selection...having a hard time and reading it really slowwwwwwwwwwlyyyyyyyyy...seriously like 2 pages a day, if I'm lucky...it's a lot to absorb. I need to download the lessons and watch them from the first few chapters. Anyone else reading this book?



I will be in Florida for at least the next 10 days, maybe longer depending on what is going on with mom and how she is progressing with her therapy. Please continue to lift her up in prayer as she begins some intensive therapy to regain her strength in order to be able to go home. She is being transferred to the rehabilitation hospital as I type this.

Thanks to everyone who reads my blog and comments and most of all for all of your supportive and kind words. I am blessed.

Why I blog...

I started this blog in October of 2006 and the main reason I started it was for my mom so that she could see my scrapbook pages and also pictures of our daily lives and happenings since she lives in Florida and we're in New York. I've tried to visit as much as possible so that Alex can stay close with his grandma and last year we actually made the trip 4 times. I am grateful for all of the visits we have had and for the opportunity to make memories especially now that mom is fighting brain cancer.

I'd like to ask everyone that reads my blog to please add my mom to any prayers that you can because we sure could use all the help we can get right now. Brain cancer is a really hard road to travel and sometimes finding just the right medication to control all of the side effects is not easy. We're dealing with seizures right now and hoping and praying that mom can come out of this. I took this picture of mom at the beginning of February when I took her for her radiation treatment...first of 30 treatments she would get along with chemotherapy. On another note, I've been so happy to have all of my handsome sons at home at the same time these past couple of weeks and now that Robert has returned to his base in Hawaii to continue working and training the next batch of young Marines until the end of the year I pray that the time goes by quickly and he is back home with us soon. As long as this Marine mom doesn't have to endure her son being deployed again I can get through the separation--Robert has served 2 tours of duty in Iraq and I am grateful to our GOD for bringing him home safely both times. Don't I have the greatest looking boys?
Of course the picture taking while my boys sleep obsession went into high gear for me. Alex has been sleeping more soundly and I don't know if it's because he knows everyone is home and together or that he's really tired at the end of a full day.Robert didn't sleep in his bed much when he was home...he opted for the couch for several reasons, the main one being that we had Angela stay with us a few times but also he found the floor worked better for his back when he did sleep in his room. Jesse has been a studying machine the past few weeks and I've been proud of watching his determination to do well this semester. Please keep him in your prayers as he winds down the last few weeks of a very full load of psychology classes. I can't remember seeing this kid without a book in his hand or in front of his face for a while now....I hope it helps. :)